By Dr. Vijayalakshmi Damera, Psychology
When marriages don’t work in spite of all the efforts you make to bring about a positive change, your inevitable solution is a divorce. A divorce leaves the partners distraught and drained out but another part of the family that is severely affected by such a decision is your children. Children tend to behave in myriad ways in response to a divorce. The idea of parents separating does not quite sink in unless they face the tangible results of this kind of an agreement.
A divorce could affect young children in the following ways:-
- They become overly independent- Teenagers feel so cheated with their parents decision that they start treating them as their enemies. They consider themselves as individuals without anybody to look up to for help and hence, show unusual independence in every little thing.
- There is a constant sense of anxiety and insecurity- Once parents get divorced, adolescents lose trust in them. They feel that adults are being juvenile and selfish to think only about their own problems. They suffer from a need for care which they are too proud to admit; feelings of anxiety and insecurity are counter- effects of such repressed emotions.
- They tend to become aggressive- Adolescents behave in an aggressive manner at the drop of a hat. Their sole intention is to make parents feel the tumultuous emotions they undergo. They attack parents in a caustic and acerbic tone every now and then.
- The larger world is treated as a family- Teenagers grow distant from their family. Their irritable attitude makes it so hard for others in the family to reach out to them that the distance keeps increasing. Children in such a situation, resort to the help, trust and companionship of friends, teachers and the society at large.
- They get immersed in their interests- Taking a dip in one’s passion becomes the sole interest once teenagers come to terms with their parent’s divorce. Bettering their talent becomes the only goal.