By Dr. Jimmy Mody, Psychology,
Almost all married couples, both young and old, at times, undergo periods of tension and anxiety when trying to convey their feelings and insecurities. If you are married living with your spouse, you would know exactly what is being discussed here. Even the best marriage can sometimes use a little spark to rekindle the relationship.
Here are some highly effective ways to enhance emotional connect with your better half:
- Make Small Talk: One of the best ways to show your spouse that you care is to talk to him/her about the smallest nuances in everyday life, things that you wouldn’t generally talk to other people about. Whether it’s the punctual newspaper delivery, or infrequent garbage disposal at the corner of the street; engage more in sharing your opinions about everything.
- Listen Carefully: Apart from enquiring about the day at the workplace, make sure you pay attention to the response given. Encourage your spouse to talk more of what she has been through the entire day, and all those little things she would want you to hear. The mantra here is, “listen, and listen carefully”. This will make your spouse realize his/her importance.
- Express your Needs Clearly: Your spouse isn’t your exact replica. Make sure he/she knows what exactly is expected of him/her, be it sharing the house work, or overall behavior, etc.
- Use Mild Language When Things Get Heated: The best way to solve any issue is by saying exactly what needs to be said. Using hurtful and immoderate language not only adds fuel to the fire, it also leaves you further off from the solution that might be right in front of you.
- Show Your Gratitude: Just because it is a routine chore, such as taking out the trash, doesn’t mean it should be looked over. Show your spouse how grateful you are for all the routine work done so diligently, every single day.
- Show How Much You Love Your Spouse: Never feel shy or too old to do those little, but beautiful things which bring joy to your spouse’s heart.
The most important thing to remember is to learn how to respect and understand the differences between you and your other half. Differences are there for you to grow from and not to run from. Dont try to change the other person, discover how you can grow from the experience instead.
Last but not least, avoid the ‘blame-game’. All kinds of ‘blame’ are anti-learning, and destructive, including ‘self-blame’. Instead, try to learn and grow from every conflict.