By Dr. Challa Subrahmanyam, Psychology
While constant bickering and fights can be a signal that your relationship is in its last phase, occasional arguments are actually required and completely healthy for your relationship. Mild disagreements which result in arguments are necessary because it makes you aware of how the other person deals with situations and fights. The conversations and the arguments during the quarrel will tell you a lot about the person; it is okay to be defensive and stick by your stance, but, at the same time, it isn’t acceptable to let the argument escalate into graver situations such as name-calling or violence of any sort.
Listed below are a few reasons why arguments are good for your relationship:
- Arguments prevent feelings from being bottled up: It is a dangerous situation to keep emotions and thoughts bottled up for a long time as you are likely to explode and say a lot of things you don’t mean. Instead, small and harmless arguments make sure that the other person is aware of what the problem is and gets a chance to put his/her point across.
- Increase communication: When you argue, you end up telling your partner a lot of things you wouldn’t otherwise. This gives both the partners a chance to understand what is wrong in a relationship and communicate better. It is easier to seek a solution when you are aware of your partner’s emotions and issues.
- Arguments relieve stress: It is always better to let out things which are bothering you instead of holding them in because pent up anger and complaints lead to distress which can wreck your personal life. Thus, if mild disagreements can relieve you of stress and help you focus better on things, then they aren’t bad for your relationship at all.
- Arguments promote honesty and transparency: Because you are communicating your issues and what is causing negativity in your relationship more, you are also being more honest and transparent about your feelings to your partner and vice versa. Honesty and transparency are two pillars which are absolutely necessary for a healthy relationship to thrive.
- It means you are comfortable with each other: When you fight with someone, it shows how comfortable you are with that person. When you can tell your partner that you disagree — when you can speak up and say you are pissed off — that’s love. You fight only because you’re sure of each other.